birthday boy

Here is my 5-year old. Oh my God. He's 5. When did that happen? Yesterday, I was on my way home from the midwife, calling my work saying shoot I know sales commissions are due tomorrow but I am going into the hospital to have a baby so I'm really sorry! The day before that we were trying to find a better route to the midwife's because we always seemed to be late. And we didn't even have anyone else to get ready or strapped in the car besides ourselves.

Not long after, we were sitting at the table, dazed & confused. A little baby Finn who just seemed to want to cry all the time forcing us to eat in shifts and wonder, what on earth have we done? Here's what we did:

We had a wonderful, life-changing, eye-opening, reality-altering child who would keep us on our toes every single day for the next 5 years and I don't see that stopping any time soon. He is the heart of my heart and the craziness of my days. He is the responsible older brother and the soon to be kindergartner (again, oh my God). He amazes, confuses, enrages and sustains me. Happy birthday, Finn. I love you.

On his birthday, he awoke to streamers and balloons hanging from his door. "that surprised me, mom," was his response. More streamers and balloons adorned the dining room and railings. He had told me for weeks before that on his birthday I didn't have to do any work and all I needed to do was play - God bless him. That morning we had a field trip to the local dairy farm.

This is Allyson. If I had to choose right now, this is the girl that Finn would marry.

After the field trip we were rained out at the park so went to the McDonald's playland to play with his friend, Brady. Then, home to have a rest, Burgundy took a nap and Finn drove his car around the yard. Later, we went to Chuck E Cheese. Here is me serving cake or something. Don't I look calm & happy? And not at all frazzled and like I should be talking to 20 people at once and spending all my money on pizza and tokens? That's good then.

I notice that while at Chuck E Cheese, Finn gets this dazed look on his face (probably not unlike the look on our faces shortly after his birth). Perhaps it's too much stimuli, perhaps the indecision of not knowing which game to play next. At one point I walked away from the two overflowing tables at the back to find my boy standing next to his friend, Drake, watching him play a game, that look on his face. I stood back a way, observing, as I'd often catch my mother doing (and now I know why). I heard Drake tell him he was the best at that particular game. Finn put in a token and Drake took over the controls again telling Finn he had better play it because of his unrivaled prowess over catching the ping-pong balls in the bucket. Don't misunderstand me, I know how 5-year olds are, and I do not dislike Drake. We picked him up at home because he is Finn's good friend and he is one of those kids who you get a good feeling about, rather than that "I don't want my kid any where near that little shit" feeling. You know the one.
But at the conclusion of the game, after I had stepped in and suggested the taking of turns, after Drake had wandered off somewhere else, I told Finn, "Buddy, it's your birthday, your special day, so do whatever you want." A little thing. And then we went off together and played games together. Sitting in a too-big race car game, me doing the pedals and him steering, laughing our little heads off, that is what I hope to remember in 20 years. Not the craziness of 20-plus adults with a multitude of kids to feed and provide tokens for, not the feeling that I should be talking to everyone more, not the feeling that it's been too long since I've been able to hang out with a bunch of people and enjoy it. No, not those things, but the little chunk of time that I remembered what I was there for, and went off to find my 5-year old son and spend time with him on his special day.

There were so many people that we opted to take the presents home rather than opening and losing them there. Then we did our nightly rituals and I tucked in my son. His faithful dog beside him. When asked if he had a good birthday, he said he did. When asked what his favorite part was, he replied it was driving his new car around the yard. And the next day, out of nowhere, he recalled proudly, "mom, you said it was my special day and I should do whatever I want." Yes, buddy. Forever and every day, I hope you can take that advice.

new toy

wow

This, I just had to share. Tonight, my little family went up to Cody's parents' house. Toni & Todd and family are in town to finalize a few things with their house, so after we spent the entire lovely day outside doing yard-work, we went up for dinner. It was a fun time and the kids very much enjoyed playing with their cousins. Here is the amazing part. We ate dinner and then sat at the island and talked... and talked... and talked. Our kids were so happy playing, that I was able to sit there for probably an hour and a half and chat. This is a milestone in my eyes.

My kids are getting older. Seeing as Cody has 4 siblings, I have seen this happen - I have seen people sitting around talking while their children play, and they didn't have to be constantly interrupted with diaper changes, and any of a hundred other requests that tiny children tend to make. It usually happened to me that I would sit, try to be part of a conversation, and as soon as it would get good, I'd be called off to handle some emergency, put out some (figurative, usually) fire, etc. Or, conversely, I wouldn't get involved in the conversation at all because I knew I would just be disgruntled when I had to leave it.

Tonight, they played. They were well behaved. They had fun. Tonight, I talked, I visited, I held an actual adult conversation that lasted more than 20 seconds without interruption. I had fun.

My kids are getting older. My kids are becoming a little more self-reliant. I can see it in the little things every day. Tonight it stood out for some reason. It was really lovely.

Easter & the zoo (and pictures, not necessarily in that order)

We took our first trip of the year to the zoo this week. 70 degrees. Perfect. We took a different route and even saw some things I don't think we've ever seen before - which is interesting because we go to the zoo several times a year and it's not that big! But I don't think we've ever seen the wolves (which we did - up close and personal) or the rodent/insect house. That was pretty cool. We saw the new baby elephant for the first time, and shared our condolences with the giraffes (one of the baby giraffes died a while ago - failure to thrive). We rode the train twice and the carousel once, which is our standard operating procedure for the zoo. I was also smart and bought a season pass the first visit, instead of wishing I had each subsequent visit.

This guy was the cutest thing ever. It's called a sand cat. I wanted to take him home.



Notice the very large tiger in the background.



We always have to take a picture on the train!

The first nice day - they lobbied to eat lunch outside.

It's fun to have a girl :)

Someone's been eating Easter candy!

traveling

so it's been a while, suppose I should update. I think I post all of my stuff on facebook these days and forget to keep my blog up to date. If you are on facebook you saw that I went home for a long weekend earlier this month. I flew in on Thursday and left on Monday. My sister had the same flight schedule. Despite the fact that we were there for a funeral, it was actually a fantastic weekend.

My Aunt Deana passed away on St. Patrick's day. She had been battling cancer for three years. I am glad that she is at peace and out of pain. She was a great lady.

So, it was me, my sis, Mom & Dad. Just like the old days. Pretty cool. We flew in on Thursday, and although I offered to take the train, my dad insisted he come to get me at O'Hare. (Thanks, Daddy). So we drove the long way back to my folks' house in Indiana. My dad drove me through Dunkin' Donuts since I can't get those here. yummm. We stopped by uncle Lou's for dinner (fresh caught Lake Michigan perch - my Marcanio family sure can catch and cook a mean plate o' fish!!!), then went back out to get my sister from O'Hare. A LOT of traveling that day!!
The next day we didn't have plans so I was able to go out to the garage and go through about 20 boxes. I consolidated them and threw away about 15 boxes worth of stuff. It's amazing what you think you need and then realize you don't after so many years of NOT having it! I also found a lot of old pictures which was fun. (I much enjoyed scanning them all and posting them on facebook to embarrass my high school & college friends with as well).
Saturday was the wake (or "viewing" if you're from Utah). That was not the most fun day. My sister told me she was once at a funeral and all of a sudden broke into a giggling fit and couldn't stop. I kind of did the same thing except with crying. I think giggling would have been a lot more fun. I just had a lot of thoughts in my head and had a pretty emotionally draining day.

The next day, we drove out to my uncle Jack & aunt Marta's house, about 2 hours away. My grandma is living there with them. She will be 98 in a couple weeks. I haven't seen her in a while, since she came out here after Burgundy was born. She has aged a lot and that was sad to see. But we brought her a cake and celebrated her birthday early since we were all there together. I'm not sure if she knew who we all were, but I think she had a good time anyway!

Monday, I flew home. It was a quick trip - but I so enjoyed spending the time with my family. Living on opposite ends of the country from them kind of sucks. I wish I could see them more often, but as it is, I try to enjoy every moment. It was a good trip.

I sure was happy to see these cute faces again...