first day of school, last day of school

first and last day of preschool (1st year) and 1st grade.

what it means to be a mom…

Today was very frustrating. Tomorrow is mothers day. Here's what I wanted to do today, have my house clean and start making Finns costume for his class opera. Simple, really... Have a clean house for mothers day and have a start on the costume so if I have questions about using the pattern I can ask Paula about them when she comes for dinner tomorrow. Simple. Right?

Not so much. Cody was out in the yard from sun up to sun down laying 600 feet of tubing to install sprinklers so we can have a garden and a partially watered lawn. Every time I started to do some cleaning in the house, I was called outside to help. Every time I came back inside, whatever I had cleaned was already a mess again.

So my house is not clean. My sewing project is not started.

I cannot say I have come to terms with this yet. But I can say that somewhere in there I realized celebrating mothers day is not about relaxing in a clean house. It is not about being freed up to do whatever I want with my day. No, it's much more basic than that. I suppose it is about celebrating the fact that I am needed. I am needed by my husband to help run our little homestead. I am needed by my children. No longer to wipe poopy butts (thank goodness for that) or spoon-feed meals. But needed for something, nonetheless, about every five minutes.

My house is not clean. My projects are not done. But I am needed. Because I am a mom.

Happy Mothers Day.

oh my goodness, I just made something adorable

 Because it stands to reason that my 7 year old will get a loose tooth one of these days...

 

 It's a tooth pillow!

With a pocket in back for a tooth/money from the tooth fairy.

Must... Squish... It...

Dodging bullets and meeting angels

I cried in my doctor's office today.  I don't think she knew what to do with me.  Imagine if she had given me bad news instead.

6 months ago they found a nodule on my thyroid.  She wanted it rechecked in 6 months' time to see if it had changed, gotten bigger, become scary, etc.  Last time it took a long time for my doctor to get the actual ultrasound results.  This time I called ahead to make sure they had them and was told they did.  Then for my appointment today, well... they didn't.  Something happened they hadn't gotten scanned in so it took a few minutes to locate them.  That's when I started crying.  

As mothers, we worry about everyone else and brush our own stuff aside and pretend real hard it doesn't matter.  Until the moment it boils over like a pot on the stove.  Whoopsie daisy, everyone, don't mind the puddles I'm making over here I'll just clean that up and get on with dinner...

Now, I know, thyroid nodules are a dime a dozen and you can't swing a dead cat around without hitting someone who has one apparently.  But as my dad says, minor surgery is what they do on someone ELSE...  An insignificant lump is a lump they find on someone ELSE.  But, when she finally got the report, the news was that the nodule had shrunk in size.  Recheck it in a year.  Breathe...

After the appointment I decided to get lunch in the hospital cafeteria and take Indi for a picnic.  I was texting my good news when an elderly gentleman asked me if I had already ordered.  In the hopes of being polite, I put my phone away and told him yes, I was just waiting for my food.  He thought about this for a few seconds and smiled and said, "seems like a lot in life is just waiting."  He told me he had had to wait a lot in the army.  In World War II, it seemed he was always waiting.  I told him it was probably better than the alternative.  He agreed.  

He told me how he was on a tanker on the way to Japan to start fighting when they got the orders to turn around, that the war was over.  Someone was smiling down on you then, I said.  He said he found luck  another time when his wife had just given birth to their first child.  He had his deployment orders and wrote to ask for more time since his wife was still in the hospital.  He got a short deferment, and when it was time to leave, he got a letter saying he had been switched to inactive duty.  He didn't have to go anywhere.  He was able to stay with his family.

He had dodged a bullet twice.  I feel like I dodged one today.

He was someone I was supposed to meet today.  You know who these people are, you've had chance encounters with them, too.  And it's only afterward that you realize who they were, because they always hide their wings.