I Hate Wal*Mart

Exhibit A:

I tried to sneak in with my return. I HATE returning things to Walmart because they make it such a pain in the ass. I am sure they do this to make people avoid returns. I am also sure it works. So anyway, I am like shoplifting in reverse – trying to sneak an item back IN to the store, but the old man catches me and says loudly “RETURN??”. “Yep,” I say and sadly bring him my item. Of course I am in a hurry and of course he is in anything BUT. So, he gets his scanner gun and tried to scan it, once, looks at it, twice, looks at it, thrice, looks at it, puts it down, studies his scanner, hits a few keys, picks it back up, scans it, looks at it… this goes on for about 4 more minutes. Then he finally takes some pre-printed return tags out of his smock, slaps one on there and hands it back to me and says “Here you go, this thing hasn’t been working all day.” Well, THANK YOU ancient Walmart employee then, for taking the time to prove that - both to me and to yourself, oh and wasting 8 minutes of my life in the process.

Exhibit B:

I found the best black & white toile fabric at Walmart. And now they no longer carry it. (This is also a curse I have, where I find something I love and then it ceases to exist – and I’m not talking about a few things here, I’m talking dozens and dozens, to the point where now if I find something I like, it makes Cody nervous because we both know that pretty soon it will go poof! and disappear.) So I go to the fabric dept. and there are three employees and no customers and they stand there talking to each other ignoring me until I finally say, “excuse me does one of you work here?” So, I tell them my plight and they look at me dumbly and then say well have you tried joanns? yes. have you tried hancocks? yes. have you tried the internet? yes. another time-wasting round of questions and suggestions, like “well I would try Hancock Fabrics because I know they have a lot of toile. That’s what this is called, ‘toile’ ” Thank you. Thank you so very much. Because I didn’t just say I already tried there and I didn’t know it was called ‘toile’. So they can’t give me any information whatsoever about who made it, etc. Another 10 minutes wasted.

Exhibit C:

Go to the return counter to return item from Exhibit A. The girl with zero personality acts like I am ruining her day by bringing her a return (apparently because I was so determined to actually cross the geriatric defense line and actually MAKE a return) and grumpily asks me “well, what was wrong with it?” I should have said “I bought it at Walmart.”