Well, Cody will be home tonight. That is good. It was not that bad with me and the kids, but I am ready for him to be home. Thursday & Friday were just fine. Yesterday I was pretty moody and today I am very moody. You can guess why. (It starts with an "H" and rhymes with Shmormones.)
So I guess it's my turn for my long weekend away, right? Maybe I haven't worked hard enough for a weekend away. I haven't had a CRAZY busy summer, it's true. I have just had the exact same summer as the last 3 summers (except add one little person). And sometimes more of the same is enough to about drive you crazy.
I honestly don't remember the last time I went camping with all the friends. No seriously, I can't remember. It was before Finn was born I think. I DO NOT begrudge Cody his camping trip. I know he has been working HARD and I know he NEEDS this weekend away. But you know, sometimes I wish it was possible for me to do something too. I'm not even asking to go off on my own. I would honestly rather have my husband and kids with me. But to do what? I'd like to go camping but we'd want to use a camper so that maybe our small children might actually sleep and we might have a decent time. Because I can tell you from experience that camping is fun until sleep eludes you. Then it gets decidedly unfun. Well we don't have a camper.
And I'd like to maybe be able to go out for a nice night with my husband to see a movie and have dinner. Last time we tried that we both had so much anxiety that we shouldn't have even stayed to watch the movie. We didn't enjoy it anyway, we were too worried about getting home ASAP. I won't go into that.
Yes, I have been able to join a gym and that is helpful. But it's only helpful when I'm able to go (which hasn't been in 2 weeks now). And yes I am able to get out and do PC shows. And I do enjoy that. But it also stresses me out when I don't have shows. This upcoming paycheck will be $0. again. So that sucks. Because as much as I enjoy it, guess what, it's a job. And I do it for the money. And when there is no money then I start to wonder how I'll get groceries. And I start to wonder how it is that a "crazy busy" summer is such a good thing.
Whatever, obviously I am PMSing and in a shitty mood right now. Probably not the best time to post something.
So I guess it's my turn for my long weekend away, right? Maybe I haven't worked hard enough for a weekend away. I haven't had a CRAZY busy summer, it's true. I have just had the exact same summer as the last 3 summers (except add one little person). And sometimes more of the same is enough to about drive you crazy.
I honestly don't remember the last time I went camping with all the friends. No seriously, I can't remember. It was before Finn was born I think. I DO NOT begrudge Cody his camping trip. I know he has been working HARD and I know he NEEDS this weekend away. But you know, sometimes I wish it was possible for me to do something too. I'm not even asking to go off on my own. I would honestly rather have my husband and kids with me. But to do what? I'd like to go camping but we'd want to use a camper so that maybe our small children might actually sleep and we might have a decent time. Because I can tell you from experience that camping is fun until sleep eludes you. Then it gets decidedly unfun. Well we don't have a camper.
And I'd like to maybe be able to go out for a nice night with my husband to see a movie and have dinner. Last time we tried that we both had so much anxiety that we shouldn't have even stayed to watch the movie. We didn't enjoy it anyway, we were too worried about getting home ASAP. I won't go into that.
Yes, I have been able to join a gym and that is helpful. But it's only helpful when I'm able to go (which hasn't been in 2 weeks now). And yes I am able to get out and do PC shows. And I do enjoy that. But it also stresses me out when I don't have shows. This upcoming paycheck will be $0. again. So that sucks. Because as much as I enjoy it, guess what, it's a job. And I do it for the money. And when there is no money then I start to wonder how I'll get groceries. And I start to wonder how it is that a "crazy busy" summer is such a good thing.
Whatever, obviously I am PMSing and in a shitty mood right now. Probably not the best time to post something.
2 comments:
I hear you!! When do moms get a break? Our job requires us to be on-call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Even when I do get away - which isn't very often, I still can't totally think of myself - I'm always wondering how the kids are, etc. We should try to do dinner just me and you or something. Hope your day gets better :)
I saw we all go camping. During the week without hubbies. Bring the "pack and play" for the wee ones and let the boys just get as dirty as possible. If they wear themselves out playing they will sleep. Lets wait for little J. to get off his cast and then Tom will be out of school for 3 weeks again.
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