Plastic Surgery

ok, here is my list of plastic/elective surgeries I need (want).

1) Lasik. Not much explanation needed. I just want to be able to see. Whenever I have dreams they always consist of me looking for my contacts, trying to put in my contacts or trying really hard to open my eyes so I can see (and I think I am actually trying to open my eyes in my sleep). And then it would also be cool to see in real life, too. I'm done with contacts. I'm way over it.

2) Nose job. When I was very little, my friend's late mom told me that I had a perfect nose. I always liked my nose. I used to have a cute little button nose. So, during both pregnancies my nose got quite wide - which annoyed me constantly. After Finn, it pretty much went back to normal. Not so after Burgundy. Look at this picture. All of you looking at this will probably think "so what?" but I hate it. Honestly. I can deal with my feet being enormous since they grew 1/2 size with each kid and never went back down. But I freaking hate my nose now.

3) Tummy tuck. Duh. After a 10 pound baby, my stomach will NEVER be the same. I would miss my belly button. I have (had) a cool T-shaped belly button. But you know what? I would be willing to part with it if it meant I could get rid of the tub of pudding that now resides permanently on my midsection.

4) Boob job. yep. Before kids, I never wanted/needed a boob job. I used to have good jugs. ha! When I heard about girls my age getting a breast enhancement, I thought, boy I'm glad I don't need that! Well now I do. I won't go into too much detail, I will just say they are deflated.

So, the moral of my story? Pregnancy ruins you. I would need Lasik anyway, but other than that my body is a sad remnant of its former glory. I supposed it's vein of me to want all these things. You know what? Too bad. I don't think it's a terrible thing. I selflessly donated my body to my children so they could grow and be healthy. And now I want it back!

So someday, maybe I will get one or a few or all of these things. Donations to my "former glory fund" can be made payable to me.