Good Fences Make Good Neighbors

Sometimes people perplex me. Sometimes I really wish we could move to the country where we can't immediately see another house upon exiting our own. Ok, we have basically one neighbor to the side of us since we are on the corner. They are nice people. Juan Carlos & Marisel. They have two kids, a boy a couple years older than Finn and a girl the same age as Finn.

Last summer they played a lot. Several times, Finn was invited to go play with them in their back yard or in their house. Then Marisel would walk him back home. The only thing I thought was weird kind of is that many times they would be playing in the back yard, then bring Finn home, then the kids would be back outside playing in the yard again for a while. So Finn would go in our back yard and they would "play" through the fence together. But on these occasions, Finn would keep asking if he could go back in their yard. I never quite got this.

The other odd thing, the kids never ever came to our house or yard. They would play together in our front yard, but many times I offered that they could come over to our back yard, but they never did. Marisel said it was because the kids were afraid of our cats, but when I told them the cats would be inside, they never really said anything else.

So today, they were playing in the front yard, and Finn kept asking me if he could go in their back yard. I told him only if he was invited. So the daughter asked her mom if they could play in the back yard and the mom said "no, we have to go inside in a few minutes." So everyone went inside to their own houses, and five minutes later both kids were out playing in the back yard. ????

I know that sometimes you just have stuff to do and don't want to deal with other people's kids or whatever, that was just kind of weird. Because usually Marisel's inside cooking dinner or whatever and they play in the back yard, and I am in our backyard, kind of overseeing just to make sure Finn is having fun and being good. So, hmmm.

Then another weird thing: Last summer both families would be out a lot, so we had lots of conversations while our kids played. So JC asked Cody if we were going to have more kids, and Cody said no, and he proceeded to tell Cody about his vasectomy in great detail (before Cody told him he was going to have one). And then the next day, he continued, and the next. So it was almost bizarre how much it seemed like he liked to tell Cody about his vasectomy and after Cody had his, asking him about how he was doing, etc. Then we basically haven't seen/talked to them all winter. And we saw them outside for the first time earlier this week and went to say hi. JC says "oh she is getting so big! (about Burgundy) Are you guys going to have more?" And I was confused and wondering if he was joking. So I just kind of laughed. And he asked again, and I said, "no, not without a miracle." Then Cody walked over and he asked Cody "so are you guys going to have more kids?" And Cody reacted the same as I had & JC asks him again. Then Cody said, "um no, I had a vasectomy." And he was like "oh really? I had one!" and started to talk to Cody all about it. I mean, with as much as they talked about it every time we saw them last summer - I seriously cannot believe he did not seem to remember AT ALL. Weird!

So I don't know, it's just kind of weird. Maybe it's just me. The other thing that bugs me is that on several occasions the kids have asked me, Cody & Finn if we go to church. And I don't know, I just don't like this. I know they are kids and so they are curious about other people and if they do the same thing, etc. But I have been here for, what, almost 7 years now, and being an "outsider", this is just still weird to me. Completely a Utah thing.

I know a lot of church-goers. Most of which are completely non-judgmental, but some are the opposite of that. I'm happy to say I don't know too many of those. But knowing that Bart's neighbor's kids are not "allowed" to play with Bart's kids because they didn't go to church and knowing how my ex-boyfriend who grew up here non-Mormon describes being ostracized for that fact, I just don't like it. So somehow I have managed just to "not answer" that question when it is asked. Because how sad would it be if all of a sudden Finn wasn't allowed to play with them? Last summer he drove me nuts asking EVERY day "can I play with Crystal?", and every time he sees them outside he can't wait to get out there to play. It would break my heart if somehow he couldn't do that anymore for the simple fact that we don't go to church. I'm not saying that our neighbors are judgmental, I have just heard too many stories of broken-hearted children. And, frankly, it's not anyone's business anyway.